It's been...big

I've been trying to think about how to write this post for a while.  It's been several weeks since I've really sat down at the computer to write.  In large part because at the end of the day, I'm just ready to sit down, have either a cup of tea (or depending on the night, a gin and tonic), and be still.  These past few weeks have been ______.  And I struggle to fill in that blank.  There are so many adjectives I could drop into that blank at the end of the sentence.  As I think about it tonight, the one characteristic that is shared among any of the choices is big.  It's all been big.  Big feelings, big moments.

It's been a hard few weeks, to be honest.  I miss our old home, our friends, our neighborhood, our church.  And while Addy has only used those words a few times, I think both girls are feeling a bit of the same.  Addy has talked a lot about feeling "left out" at school, when teachers use phrases like "you may remember this from kindergarten." She loves to remind me that she "did kindergarten," as if somehow I forgot, "but that's not it, it's that [she] was not at Riverbend for kindergarten and so it's not the same."  And Cora spouts out random memories - the other day we were coming home from her preschool and she says, "Mom, you remember Lucas's shoes?  He had cool shoes and they were fast."  I know she's making new friends at her preschool, but Lucas was one of her buds at her old preschool and she's remembering them, too.  It's a fine line trying to talk about these feelings but not dwell on them.  

And I think having these feelings in the background make everything else we're experiencing feel just a little bit bigger.  Getting used to our new routines, battling a little head cold that's going around, trying to make new friends...and, of course, missing Graham.

It also amplifies the "wow" moments, too.  And there have been many of those moments.  Times when we get out and learn about our new home or meet new people and we are on that high that comes from making that connection.  Those moments carry us through.

A few weekends back we sought out just that.  We were battling that head cold I was talking about, it had been raining for days, getting up early for school was taking its toll.  We needed something to spark us out of that rut.  Eagle Beach was the answer.

The girls were ready for an adventure.  Decked out in rain gear, we brought our buckets and nets, ready to play in, or with, whatever we found.

We've learned not to wait for a sunny day; rain be damned, we were going.  And miraculously it stopped raining for the three hours or so we were there.

I can only imagine what this view must be like on a clear day because even on a cloudy, overcast one, it was break taking.

This pretty much summed up our goal for the day - go with whatever the moment provided and find happy.  Addy found it in the mud.  She is absolutely cracking up after slipping and sliding her way through the mud.  She's filthy and loving it.

Making a mud angel

So very muddy.  So very happy.

Cora found her happy in discovery.  Literally jumping for joy that there was so much to explore. 

It was low tide when we got there and salmon skeletons littered the beach.  There was a small ick factor to it, but greatly offset by the wow factor.  We marveled at the different sizes, the sheer number of them, the various stages of decay.

Cora found these bubbles and was absolutely convinced they were salmon eggs.  She was so proud of her discovery.  She made us promise not to step on them.

So I don't know the official reason this place is named Eagle Beach but I'm thinking it's the obvious answer.  

One picture, 3 adult eagles and I'm thinking 2 younger eagles that haven't grown into their distinguished white feathers yet.  Amazing.

Even more amazing when you consider there are these two knuckleheads running all over, screaming and laughing as they jump in puddles and squish in the mud.

To let them run...

They really were in their elements.  True happiness.  This picture from the very last minutes we were there really captures it.  Cora and her imagination, with a stick she transformed into a "harbingererer" that carried her, I'm thinking like a witch's broom, across the beach.  And Addy just letting loose, rolling her way down the hill and across the muck.

Thank you, Eagle Beach.

"The best legs in town"

Or so goes the saying...A Juneau treasure, we made our first trip to Tracy's King Crab Shack.

Okay, these crabs were seriously HUGE!  We didn't have the courage to order the big basket of legs just yet, but we did get some wonderful crab cakes and crab bisque.

The restaurant really is a series of shacks - an order shack, beer shack, steaming shack.  Very cool.  Here the girls are watching the steamers at work.

Doing their best king crab impersonations.  

We will definitely be back, and ready to order the legs next time!

USCGC Healy

The Coast Guard Cutter Healy came into town and was having an open house.  

Across the gangplank we go...

So many stairs!  And so steep!

Captains Cora & Addy

First Days

She did it!  That was the message I sent to Graham and grandparents as soon as Addy was on her way to school that first day.  The beginning of the year last year was rough - there was crying, clinging on to mom and dad, and it went on for weeks.  Thank goodness for her very patient and kind teachers.  But last year was a year full of growth - for her, and for all of us.  With the help of a child psychologist who taught Addy some techniques for managing her worries and other big feelings that sometimes get the better of her, and again, her patient and kind teachers, Addy finished up the school year loving it.  She was excited for this year but I have to admit that with the move, a new school, new teachers, new kids, I was nervous.

That first morning, though, wow.  She was a rock star.

Our big 1st grader!

Patiently waiting for the bus

So excited to be a bus rider!

Her only disappointment from the first day...no homework!

I did have one moment of panic...my phone rang at about 11:30am.  It was the school.  My stomach sank, I thought to myself, "okay, we made it 3 1/2 hours...that's pretty good, right?"

Teacher: "Hi, this is Marta Pardee, Addy's teacher."
Me:  "Hi.  How are you?"
Teacher:  "Good.  First day's going well.  I like to check in with students at the beginning of the year to see if they have any questions, concerns...  [[I'm thinking to myself, goodness knows what Addy brought up!]] ...if they know how they get to and from school.  Addy knows she is supposed to take the bus home in the afternoon but she doesn't know what bus."
Me:  [[After a brief pause]] "Yes, bus 33.  Sorry about that [[holding back my laughter so she doesn't think I'm a totally crazy parent]], guess we never talked about the ride home."

Addy and I talked for days about how the first day was going to go...giving her the opportunity to ask any questions she had, we took a tour of the school, played on the playground, we had a plan for that morning down to what she was going to eat.  We've learned that when we can predict Addy's going to be nervous, having little to no opportunity for question or need for a decision from her helps.  Have a plan and then just follow it.  We had everything planned out for that morning and for the beginning of the day.  However, we were so focused on the morning, we forgot about the afternoon!  Of course she doesn't know what bus to take home - I never told her!  Oops.  My bad.

But on to our other rock star.  Cora could not wait for her first day of school.  She was literally singing and dancing around so much I could hardly get her picture.

Such a big smile, she hardly has eyeballs!

Dancing with the sign

Taking the sign for a walk

In front of her cubby

We walked in, hung up her stuff, found her name card to check-in, washed hands, and walked into the room for morning meeting.  Other grown-ups were there with their kids, some sitting on the rug with kids in their laps, others leaning against the wall.  I asked Cora, "How you doing?  Are you ready to say goodbye to Mommy once morning meeting starts?" She replies, "Yes" and gives me a great big hug and kiss.  So I go stand against the wall while she plays with the pretend kitchen.  One of her teachers rings the morning bell and she comes right over to the rug and finds a spot to sit.  The teacher starts talking and Cora looks over to me...she waves and whispers, "okay, Mom, you can go now."  I smile and wave, but I don't quite leave yet, I'm listening to the morning song as they introduce all the kiddos.  Cora looks over again, "It's okay mom, you can leave now."  Wave, wave.  Okay, kid, message received.  I turn to leave as the other parents around me are cracking up.  Apparently I was cramping her style.

And this is how I found her at pickup time...jumping in a puddle and absolutely covered in mud with a huge smile.  It was a good day.  Her only disappointment from the first day...that she doesn't get to go everyday!